The escape

It never occurred to me until now why I was so interested in Alice in Wonderland and Peter Pan other than the costumes and set and the fact that I have ideas for several art piece. I was interested in the fact that both story is about going to another land. 

When I was in high school, all I ever wanted was to get out. Getting out of my situation, my location, etc. I felt stuck. I didn't get what I imagined high school to be. I wanted to escape and constantly wishing that I was somewhere else. Alice went into a world where things doesn't make sense but it does. Peter was in a land where he never had to worry about aging, being able to do anything he wishes and not worrying. I wanted to feel free and away from everyone and come into a place where I felt loved or even a place where I had true friends that I don't have to be fake around them. 

Growing up, I've always pretended. Faking my way through life. I try to not do that now but it's kind of hard to let go of something completely that you've been doing for years. I still feel that I need to pretend. The world wants me to smile so that they don't have to see my natural bitch face but I want to smile because I'm genuine about it. I want to smile for the real reasons. I want a smile that doesn't take a lot of energy to make. But the world always wins and I'm not happy. I really look forward to the day that I smile genuinely and say "I'm happy, I'm truly happy". 

 

Anyways, thank you for reading 

and I really hope and pray that you have a nice day.

The girl who grew and the boy who didn't

For the past few years I've been fascinated with Alice in Wonderland and Peter Pan especially with Alice in wonderland. I've never read the books on it but I have watched many versions of them. 

When I was a kid, I had a dream. Kind of like an additional story to Peter Pan which focused on the other characters. At first I was very sure I watched a movie of it because it was so vivid. From the costumes to the sets to the actors, it all felt real, exactly like a movie. Over the years, I've have searched all possible Pan related movies, videos or stories. I came back with non. I've accepted that it was indeed a dream, but if anyone has any information on it, please let me know. 

I've forgotten most parts because it ha been many many many years since it happened but the story goes something like this. There was a part on Tinkerbell. Being with Pan all those years, she fell in love with him. Then one day she was granted a wish, which was to be human or human sized. When the both of them finally met after she changed, he didn't quite recognized her but after spending some time together, he realized it was her. Days passed and she finally told him that she has loved him all these while. Pan rejected her (he was a kid and she was an adult, they couldn't be together anyways). She was upset and she turned back into a fairy. 

Then the other part was about Hook. Instead of being at sea, he was on land. He lived among the market area but at his "home" was a big empty circle land. Like in those movie where there were buildings surrounding a fountain except in Hook's story, there wasn't a fountain. It was sometimes transformed into those fight rings. (If you want to imagine it, it's like those 90s movie where they had bull or cock fight etc) Btw, the setting is like a dock but on land, complete with those cabin you see near the docks, with those wooden steps and barrels etc. Anyways one day, there was a fight show going on, Hook was minding his business when he hears that ticking sound. He grew scared. Turns out the crocodile he feared came into the ring. Hook came out and saw it. Then you know how the story goes with Hook and the crocodile. He runs, it tries to attack. Oh man, if you could see it, because I do a very bad job at explaining this to you. If I could illustrate it I would, but I'm bad at that too. I really hope this is a movie because I wanna "watch" it again. If this was a dream, I think I could have something to do with that movie I watched but forgot the title about a group of people in the safari or something who found new tiger pubs, raised them and somehow one of the cub was taken away and was raised as those animal they use for those fight show with other tigers. This one was a good movie I highly recommend. 

By the way, I drew a very nice picture of Peter Pan, the cartoon version, which was the only nice picture I could draw, til now. 

I've always been fascinated at costumes and when I watched the Alice in Wonderland movie version in 2010, I fell in love with it. Even though the main reason I first wanted to watch it was because of Avril Lavigne. I do plan to get the book though. I watched it a few times at this point. Loving Anne Hathaway in it and loving the costumes even more the more I watched it. When I was in college, for my final project in the first semester for the model making class, I didn't know what to do until one night I had a dream of an idea(these is how I get most of my art piece ideas fyi). It was Alice positioned like a trapeze artist in a box. I thought of adding "Eat Me", "Drink Me", Mad Hatter's hat and tea cup set. Being me and being unfamiliar with the material I used to make it, it didn't turn out the way I planned it although I had a good mark for it. Which is why I intend to recreate it, doing my best to create the closes to what I wanted it to be. 

Which leads me to my next point. I've planned a few art piece related to these two stories. Been doing a lot of research on both stories. I wanted to get all the facts right, from the story line to the characters to the costumes but after awhile, since there is so many versions of it especially Alice in Wonderland, I've decided to not be so caught up on it because it is an art piece and I can interpret it whichever way I want it to be. Alice has been my longest project on my mind and Peter has only been less than a year old. I was inspired to do Peter Pan when I heard "Neverland" by Zendaya. I recommend you go listen to it. 

The problem I have now is lack of time as I have projects coming in and out plus other ideas that come up but I'm very determined to get it done. I shall post it up when I finish it. Watch this space.

Thank you for reading!

Have a nice day!

Courage

Not long ago Caitlyn Jenner was given an award for having courage to be who she is right now and many people were offended by that. Articles were written, posts were posted and videos were made about people deserved that award more than she did. Honestly speaking, I don't really know whether she deserved that award, but I do know that she had the courage to go through what she did. You don't know how Caitlyn was feeling all those years. You didn't see the pain behind closed doors. You don't know what was going on in her mind. Some people weren't as accepting because they don't understand, offended by what people called the face of courage. You see, it takes courage to not only tell the world who you really are but to also break free from that.

So what is courage really all about?

A lot of people seem to have different opinions on what courage is. You are in fact entitled to your opinion. According to the dictionary, it means the ability to do something that frightens one. It is the strength in the face of pain or grief. 

To me, courage is the ability to do something when not many approves. Courage is taking that leap of faith when you are hoping for the best. Courage is getting back up when you have fallen so many times. Courage doesn't need to be a giant gesture. Sometimes it's the little things that needs the most courage. It should also not be taken lightly because it may take time. For some people, it may be easier. To some, it may be the hardest thing to have. To have courage to do something that you believe in. Like that dream job you wanted but afraid to apply, that girl/boy you wanted to ask out on a date, or that last slice of pizza everyone is eyeing on. Courage is about making that step. It doesn't matter what people think whether you were brave or not because what matters is you taking that step. That step to achieve what is best for you.

Over the years, a few people have told me that I have courage. The fact that I moved to another state when I went to college technically all by myself , have gone to many places on my own, put myself in dangerous situations etc. To me really, I just need to do them because sometimes you are going to

be in situations where it pushes one to have courage to do something. Without courage of some sort, a lot of things in life wouldn't happen. We would all be sitting in the dark all crawled up. Thing is, we just gotta try. Try to have a little courage and you would see that things would be different. 

The key is to find a support system. Family, friends, or that random stranger you see sitting across the room. Tell people your struggles. We all have them but we aren't alone is this world to go through it together. Or you can find a quote or a role model. That works too.

So, is there certain things in life you need to have courage for? Proposing to someone, setting out a new business venture, traveling by yourself? Whatever it is, as long it's not a criminal offense, I support you wherever you are. 

Here's to you for finding your courage!

and thank you for reading my jibber jabber. 

Have a nice day! :)