Money is a sensitive issue to me

I often get judged(or if you want to called it teased) when it comes to money by the people I called "friends" and let me be clear, I get offended by it, especially when it comes to money I own.

I hate telling people where I live because I stay in a rented room of a house located at a well-known place for where expats/famous people/rich people/whatever live or hangout or simply just to get groceries. People just assumes that because of that I am rich(it doesn't help that I am born in a state that most people live in huge houses). You don't know how much rent I am paying. You don't know how big my room is for that amount of rent I pay. You don't know (excuse-my-language) shit. For the record, I stay alone in that room that is probably bigger than yours in which you also share with another person for that amount of rent you pay and I probably pay much lesser than you do.

I come from a single income family. Growing up, my mum was the sole provider as my dad passed away when I was barely 2 years old. Sure there are some leftovers my dad has and relatives who gives once in awhile but when it comes to money, I am very sensitive. Heck, I was president of the Accounts Club when I was 10-11.

 I remember when I got an iPhone 4s(btw, Apple products are expensive in my country). I didn't even want to use it around my friends because they would be like "Oh new phone a, Waa iPhone aa, rich a you". *Before I continue, I admit sometimes I do tease a little when I see my friends with expensive stuff but I stop immediately. I apologize if I ever continue after the first sentence of teasing.* My first laptop was a MacBook Pro 15'(which I sold off eventually). Seriously guys, I would only own things like that if I got them discounted or rather, free. Money has always been tight in my family but we get by. The amount of testimony my mum can tell you(she probably won't and she would be pissed if I tell you about our family's money).

When I started working, and when I wasn't earning enough, my mum still gave me some in which she had to dig out from nowhere. I felt really really bad. I wanted to provide for her but I couldn't. There were days where I had a meal a day just so I wouldn't spend so much for the month but there was always something that comes that I have to spend the money anyways. Money I don't have. I went through a period of self-loathing and broke down many times but I finally told her. Being the awesome mum that she is, she just told me to just do my best and that I don't need to provide for her at this point of time.

So when I got a new phone, I tried my best to hide it but it eventually got out and guess what? I got the same responses from a different group of friends. I seriously hate that. I was saving up for it but my phone decided to crash on me ahead of schedule. I didn't want to be like those people whose parents still pay for their stuff but thank God for my mum for stepping in. Of course I don't have enough and my mum paid for it. For this phone, I intend to pay with it with my own hard earn money. I intend to pay her back with any money I have earned. I didn't want her to do it but she did. 

Yes, I'm kind of what-you-call-it spoiled at times but I'm ever so grateful for my mum. 

I hate it when people assume something I am not. However, I do forgive you. I forgive you for not knowing any better. For not knowing me. I do apologize if I ever do the same to you. I will learn from that and I hope you do too. 

I would also like to add, I'm very grateful at how far my family has come. Despite not having much but we do not lack either. We get by. By God's grace actually.


Have a nice day. :)

and thank you for reading.