I have been thinking about this for awhile now but I always forget what I want to write. (I feel like such a goldfish sometimes, one second later forget things)
I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and I told her that I regret not doing much during my school days. I didn't quite like my high school years. Although I have friends, a few great teachers, some good memories and a few achievements but I regret not doing more. Yes I could score high marks for certain subjects but that kept me from not trying my best for the other subjects. Although most of the things I learn in high school doesn't apply to me in real life, but if you told me I could go back in time, my education would be one of the things I would change(high school education, not much of my college). However, I do not regret changing from Science stream to Art stream. Although doing that was the reason I couldn't apply to the Polytechnics in Singapore(but ending up in KL wasn't such a bad thing, will explain in another post). I would also like to change how I spend my spare time. I keep telling myself that I'm very limited, I don't have the resources, I don't have the freedom, I can't do this, I can't do that right now or I could do this later on when I'm in college. It was excuses I kept giving myself. I had plans. Plans for the future. I planned out what I was going to do in college that I felt restricted to do during my high school days. But... I did the same when I was in college. I pushed my plans to "after college". I felt less restricted but I procrastinate. Like a lot.
I regret not using my time wisely. I'm paying for it really badly now. I spend my time looking forward to something rather than to do something in the present.
I wish I could go back and change things but I can't. I wish that I would make full use of my time back then.
That's why I told myself that 2015 was the year that I would try to stop pushing things(less procrastinating) and to not look forward to certain things too much(I guess it is like living in the moment?). Looking forward isn't exactly a bad thing but looking forward while forgetting to live in the present is.
You can't have a future without doing something in the present. Do not dwell in the past but rather learn from it.
"We can't both change the past as much as we want to, the best we could do is remember it, learn from it and move forward. Hopefully together." - Catherine, Beauty and the Beast
I still procrastinate from time to time but I am doing what I've planned. It is a slow process but at least I'm finally doing it.
So what are the things in the past that you wished that you would have done differently? Was it your studies? Was it your relationship with someone? Was it a bad habit?
I'm not expecting that you take my advice. That's for you to judge. but really, just think about it. Sometimes it is good to reflect certain things in life. Don't dwell, but think about it.
Thank you for reading and have a nice day.
